couples – Fashion, Travel & Lifestyle.

February 14, 2018February 11, 2018

OUR RELATIONSHIP 10 COMMANDMENTS

I was determined to share more personal stories on the blog this year and you all agreed that relationship tidbits were something you’d like to see. So, in the spirit of Valentine’s Day (hello lovers!) I wanted to share Adam and I’s Relationship 10 Commandments. I first heard of this idea on a podcast I listen to faithfully (Happier with Gretchen Rubin) and loved it so much. I had never written these out before, but when it came time to think of what the 10 ‘pillars’ of our relationship were – these came very easily. I don’t like to think about them as rules, more like lanes on a road. We’re racing along best when we’re keeping it steady between these 10 guidelines.

I can’t stress enough that Adam and I in no way think we have a perfect relationship. And what works for us, could be all wrong for others. Also, several of these were completely stolen from other couples that we admire or bits of wisdom we’ve heard throughout life and applied to our own relationship. But regardless, it’s a fun exercise I thought I’d share. And if you try it too (you could make one of your relationship, your family or just yourself) I want to hear what makes your list! Without further ado…

OUR RELATIONSHIP 10 COMMANDMENTS:

ROOT FOR THE HOME TEAM – from the very beginning, we decided it was us against the world. We’re a team of two, trying to figure out a way to win in this crazy game of life. If I do something great I want to look back and see Adam cheering, and if he falters I want to be on the sidelines yelling ‘you got this!’.
LIVE IN AN ENVIRONMENT OF GROWTH – No relationship is perfect. Ours certainly isn’t. But if we’re always trying to make it better and trying to grow together, that means more to me than some idyllic version of #couplegoals.
TALK TO ME – honestly, communication (as it pertains to a relationship) isn’t either of our strong suits. But we both agree that communication is really crucial to a solid relationship. So it’s something we work on and remind ourselves of all the time.
SIGNATURE MOVE – A sense of routine and pattern of habits has always been super important to me. Adam has always winked at me from across crowded rooms and keeps his hand on my hip-bone until I fall asleep at night. I always link my arm through his elbow when we walk on the street. It’s a constant physical reminder that the other person is there.
ACCEPT THE WHITE FLAG – if we’re in one of those silly, bickering moments and the other person tries to break the mood (with a joke, a hug.. a white flag if you will), let them. Unless it’s some sort of major fight that you really need to work through, accept the attempt at apology and move on. Life’s too short to spend it pouting.
FRESH EYES – A lifetime is well, a long time. And I think all too often people settle in to thinking they know every single story the other person has ever told or thought the other person has ever had. I try to actively learn new things about Adam, share new things with him and generally look at him with fresh eyes.
SUNRISE/SUNSET – We try to start the day together and end it together. That means if I have to stay up late to do work, Adam stays up too. While we’re at it, we kiss good morning just like we kiss goodnight. The world can take you in a million different directions throughout the day – but at least we know we begin and end it together.
PAY IT FORWARD – The whole ‘I did the dishes so you should do the laundry’ life sounds exhausting to me. Just carry your weight. I like to think we’re both good about not keeping score. My Dad always told me ‘relationships are give and take’ and I think some years you’ve got to give more and some years you’ll need to take more. If you’re with someone that’s willing to do the same, it all comes out in the wash.
OLD DOG, NEW TRICKS – You know the saying. People can definitely evolve over time, but I think at our core we are who we are so it’s best to come to terms with that. I’m damn stubborn and Adam is slow to adopt new ideas. I suspect that when we’re 80 we’ll still be that way so best to find a way to love those aspects of each other now.
TAKE YOUR MEDICINE – I read once that couples can get common colds (your little passing everyday fights that cure quickly) or cancer (the incurable, killer kind of differences). But that most couples have, well, diabetes. A disagreement or issue that you will carry for a lifetime but that – if kept in check and treated regularly – is not really a big deal and you can still go on to live a fully happy life. Maybe you have differing political views or one of you has a tendency to be a workaholic or struggles with anxiety. Not deal breakers, but you need to recognize the diabetes, communicate (hello #3) and be sure that you’re treating the issue. We have our flare ups but we typically can see them coming and take our medicine so to speak.

November 27, 2017November 27, 2017

HIS AND HERS HOLIDAY STYLE: FOR A SPECIAL OCCASION AT OMNI BERKSHIRE PLACE HOTEL

For the past three years, Adam and I have gotten into the habit of taking holiday pictures (in 2015 we searched for Christmas trees and in 2016 we took a ride in a very special ’54 Chevy) – but this year we thought it might be fun to get all dressed up. So we put on our finest – outfits that would be perfect for any holiday special occasion like a night at the theater, New Year’s Eve party or formal wedding – and headed straight for the rooftop of the Omni Berkshire Place hotel.

SHOP THE STORY

This past Summer we had the most amazing staycation at the hotel and ever since then have thought of the Omni Berkshire so fondly. But with the place all dressed up for the holidays? We were floored. So we danced on the rooftop balcony overlooking St. Patrick’s Cathedral, surrounded by skyscrapers. We drank champagne and ran around a fancy suite with our own personal Christmas tree. And we laughed about how two kids from the country ever ended up here, with this crazy life. It was pure holiday magic.

And – because we always want to inspire you all to have stylish adventures of your own – I’m giving one lucky reader the chance to win a one-night stay at the Omni Berkshire (enter via my Instagram – giveaway launching at 9AM today 11/28). Whether you’re a New Yorker looking for a chic staycation or an out of towner dreaming of your own getaway in the big apple, this is your place. Good luck!

Adam wore a classic slim fit navy blue suit and I wore this (under $100!) slinky red satin wrap dress and fun starry night statement earrings. Also – can we take a moment to talk about these shoes? They’re Tamara Mellon (one of the founders of Jimmy Choo who started her own line) and are in the running for the most amazing heels I think I’ve ever worn. If you’re looking for a luxurious splurge for the holidays – I can’t recommend them enough.

On Jess: Express Satin Wrap Dress | J.Crew Star Statement Earrings | Gigi New York Clutch c/o | Tamara Mellon Pistol 105 Pumps c/o

On Adam: Topman Navy Suit | Ben Sherman Oxfords

SaveSaveSaveSaveSaveSaveSaveSaveSaveSaveSaveSaveSaveSaveSaveSave

SaveSave

August 3, 2017August 3, 2017

TRAVEL TIPS FOR COUPLES

We’ve all seen it (or been the ones ourselves) – the couple fighting at baggage claim or pulled off to the side of the road looking angrily at a map. What is it about travel that can bring out the worst in a couple? Adam and I don’t claim to never ever fight while traveling, but after 6+ years and countless trips together I like to think we’ve hit our stride. And since I often share the perfectly posed ‘after’ photos of our vacations.. I thought I’d share a more personal look at how we travel together in the hopes that it may save you from being the one in that baggage claim fight next time. Below, our best advice:

GETTING THERE IS HALF THE FUN –

Okay, okay, so your 12 hour flight to Hawaii probably isn’t going to be as fun as laying on the beach with a daiquiri in hand.. but if you go into it dreading the actual ‘travel’ part of the trip I promise you’re going to be way more likely to be in a bad mood and probably end up picking a fight. Or just being a lame travel partner. Plus, in the case of our 2 cross country road trips, getting there really was the fun. So just embrace it and choose to start your vacation the minute you walk out your front door.

We’ve still got bottle rockets in our trunk from that detour to South of the Border and cry laughing thinking of the time we nearly missed our connection in Prague and got a lecture from the flight attendant about being late. Your favorite memories may just end up being in the ‘getting there’.

ROLL WITH THE PUNCHES –

Despite your best laid plans.. I promise you, things are going to go wrong. You’re going to actually miss a flight connection, get a flat tire, arrive to the hotel only to end up hating the property, The photo on the beach at the beginning of this post? Our camera fell off the tripod minutes later and the lens broke. On our last trip to Los Angeles I spent a night in the Emergency Room hooked up to an IV (after catching a terrible stomach bug) with Adam curled up in a tiny chair beside me. Our king sized bed and hotel room only a few miles away.

It’s all in how you deal with it. And for Adam and I that means as a team. Even if frustrations are high, we try not to take it out on each other (easier said than done if either of us is ‘hangry’) and come up with the best/quickest/cheapest/whatever solution. Then get back to the fun stuff. Do you really want to spend your entire vacation sulking over the fact that your baggage was delayed for a day?

WHO YOU ARE AT HOME IS WHO YOU ARE ON VACATION –

I’ve heard this more than once with couples I know – they go on vacation and all of a sudden one partner thinks that the other would want to go white water rafting or zip lining or shopping at luxury boutiques all day. And, because the other is not at all the type of person who would ever want to actually do this, they begrudgingly go along with it and it ends in a fight (or in my sister’s case, tears on her honeymoon – what my brother in law was thinking with that hike when all she had packed was flip-flops – and hates hiking – I’ll never know…).

For example – Adam loves cars, so it would silly for me to get frustrated when we’re in a foreign country and he’s stopping every 10 feet to take photos of rare cars he’s never seen before. Likewise, I love laying on the beach but it’s not really Adam’s thing. So he’ll let me get extra time on the beach by being the one that leaves to go pick up lunch or run back to the hotel for a change of clothes. Sure, we’re traveling, but we are who we are – and you have to just respect that.

ALLOW TIME TO CONNECT –

Travel can be stressful and often feels like ‘high stakes’ – you spent $xxx on this vacation so you have to pack every moment full of sight-seeing and Instagram-worthy adventures. But we’ve found that as a couple, travel works best when it’s a balance of relaxing time spent really connecting and time spent exploring. So we’ll leave ourselves a morning or two to wake up slowly and hang out in the hotel room, or skip a night of checking out local bars for a bubble bath and movies in a king-sized bed (since we don’t have a bathtub or a big bed at home) instead. Then the next day hit the ground running.

BE GRATEFUL –

Honestly I think one of reasons that Adam and I have such a great time traveling together is because we never forget how grateful we are to do it. There were years in our early twenties when we were way too broke to travel (although even then we managed to pack picnic lunches and take day trips) so now that we have the opportunity to see the world together we feel lucky to do so. I hope I’m never standing next to this person that I love in the midst of a beautiful far-flung city bickering about some silly thing. What a waste of a gift.

And lastly, just for fun – a few travel selfies:

1st row (L): In Amsterdam, after a few cheap beers (R): En route to Montreal, sleepy

2nd row (L): In Miami, slightly sunburnt (R): In Charleston, swatting away mosquitos

3rd row (L): In Copenhagen, jet lagged (R): In Maine, battling the wind