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LET’S CATCH UP 4.27.19


I feel like I have lots to catch up on (both in real life and here on the blog). After being away with family the past two weekends in a row and then being knocked out with a dreadful cold all week, I’m thrilled to be resuming my regular New York life this weekend. Below, a few things on my mind:

  1. If you’re looking for a new show this weekend – I highly recommend ‘Shrill’ on Hulu starring Aidy Bryant. I’ve been a fan of Aidy’s for a long time now via SNL but this show is something else all together. Essentially it deals with her relationship with (and society’s views of) her body – and plus size women in general. The whole show is great but there’s one scene in particular in which there’s a pool party and every woman there is plus size. I don’t think there has ever been a scene in TV history where that many curvy women were shown in swimsuits. It’s wasn’t the one “token friend” – it was everyone. There was cellulite and rolls and bikinis and I just was so happy that the next generation of girls is going to grow up and not only see one type of stick skinny body represented in media. The whole show is really powerful. And also brilliantly funny. Please watch.
  2. Two weeks from now Adam and I will be in Paris which feels frighteningly soon but also extremely exciting. I went once 10 years ago while studying abroad in London but he’s never been so we have lots to see and do. Aside from planning our site-seeing and restaurant research I know I’ll be grabbing these cute polk dot flats (on sale in Talbots Friends & Family 30% off sale) for all the walking we’ll do on this trip. Bon voyage!
  3. A few weeks ago I got my second earring holes pierced and a follower on Instagram asked for my tips. For some reason my friend and I thought it was going to be a really breezy experience – like we’ll grab a coffee, pierce our ears and go on. She had her first holes done as a baby so had no memory and I had mine done in middle school so it’s pretty foggy (plus my eyebrow pierced in college but that’s a whole other rodeo I won’t go into right now). To make a long story short it was not breezy. We picked an affordable tattoo shop and while it was fine, I can’t say I’d specifically recommend it either. I’ve known people who have gone to the trendy Manhattan places like Maria Tash and had a good experience but paid upwards of $150 for a single piercing by the time you buy the jewelry. I wasn’t down for that so we went the tattoo shop route (I paid about $70 total for both ears including jewelry). Just read reviews! Now to the piercing. My friend went first and her ears shockingly bled so much that she legit had blood down the back of her shirt. I watched in horror while wearing a white eyelet dress. Don’t do this. Apparently it’s perfectly normal to bleed a little or a lot – which we didn’t know – so wear dark colors just in case. Afterwards, you’re supposed to wear your hair pulled back for awhile so nothing gets tangled up and you’ll be cleaning them at least twice daily which honestly has added a solid 10 minutes to my morning and night routine. So I wouldn’t plan to do this right before traveling or a big event necessarily. Also, I spent several nights barely able to sleep because I could only lay on my back until Adam brilliantly thought I should try an airplane pillow (so that I could sleep on my side but that my ear would be in the middle not touching anything). That truly saved me. Basically, know that it’s kind of going to be a drag for about a month. But I’m happy I finally bit the bullet and did it because I’m excited to be able to wear tiny studs in the second holes and this will likely be my last piercing… like, ever.
  4. My sister and I are holding each other accountable for a 21 day online workout course called ‘Beach Body On Demand’ – a ridiculous name but honestly the best workouts I’ve had in years. These 30 minute circuits have me using muscles that I never even knew existed. I’m on Day 8 and feel stronger already. I haven’t weighed myself in years so I won’t be able to report on whether or not I lose any weight but I’m excited to see new muscles form and my stamina increase. It’s also just so good to raise the bar for yourself every once in awhile. Aside from the extreme soreness, ha, I feel really mentally recharged in a surprising way.
  5. After monthsss of searching for a couch that’s not too long but also not too short for our space, cool and modern but still completely comfortable and bold but not overly trendy – I think we’ve found “the one“. The best part is, they’ll carry it up the stairs of our 4th floor walk-up.
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SPRING STYLE + WHY I (SOMETIMES) AVOID SALES

Back when I decided to give up shopping for a month (you can read about my Dry January here), I hadn’t realized just how many sales there are in a given month. Especially in January. And apparently… in April. Armed with my new shopping philosophy this year (less is more, stay true to my personal style and think of my bigger financial picture before hitting ‘buy’) I had been doing extremely well so far this year. In fact as of today I’ve only bought ONE SINGLE ITEM OF CLOTHING so far in 2019. #humblebrag

But then this past week hit and it was like all of my favorite stores conspired to put their cute new spring clothes on sale and tempt me. I nearly hit ‘buy’ at no less than 3 different stores this past weekend alone. But each time, something stopped me. And that’s my “wishlist”. About a month ago, knowing I would inevitably want/need a few new things for the season ahead I made a list of things that made the cut. A new spring blazer (the ones I had for work in Fall and Winter got a ton of wear so it makes sense to get a lighter weight one for this season), a belted shirtdress (the one shown in these photos was something I got last summer and wore countless times – a new color will be good to add into the rotation). And so on.

So this past weekend, every time a sale nearly tempted me (hello cute gingham swimsuit that’s only $27!) I referred to the list. Is it on there? If not, then pass. For god sakes I already own a gingham bikini! But it’s so easy to get swept up in 50% off and something shiny and new. I’m not saying I’ll never impulse buy again, but after years – nay, decades – of that habit, I’m more than willing to at least finish out this year with a more stringent approach.

That being said, a new spring bag was on my list and this one (which is, ahem, on sale right now) hits all the marks. Feels fun thanks to the gingham print but the neutral colors means it will match with nearly everything in my wardrobe. What’s on your “wishlist” this spring. See more of mine here.

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5 EASY AND AFFORDABLE RENTAL-FRIENDLY UPDATES

The Steele Maiden: Before and After - Apartment Entryway Makeover

This time of year always makes me want to switch up my home decor. Luckily, we’ve still got plenty of projects to work on here – but if you’re in the mood for something that freshens up your space, below are my favorite weekend projects that are big on impact but still simple, affordable and rental friendly!

CREATE AN ACCENT WALL:

Hands down my favorite way to make a big statement in a room without a huge commitment. My go-to has always been a rich, dark color – in my first NYC studio apartment I carved out a “bedroom” nook with a deep charcoal grey color behind my bed and it felt so cozy, but in this apartment I love our navy wall that leads into the entryway). And if your landlord approves it – I can’t recommend wallpaper enough. More expensive than a can of paint but SO much fun and personality can be added via print on a wall.

SWITCH YOUR HARDWARE:

I found the below nightstands at Home Goods – and while I loved that they were simple, narrow and included a drawer, the original black knobs made them look cheaper somehow. I found these agate and wood rectangle knobs at Anthropologie, swapped them out in 5 minutes and it elevated the whole look. Plus no one else will have the exact same nightstands now! An under $20 upgrade that makes me happy every time I see them.

The Steele Maiden: Fall Reading List

CHANGE YOUR LIGHT FIXTURES:

The only thing I truly disliked about our current apartment was the stock, rental light fixtures. If you’re a renter you know the kind. Those sort of gross flush mount ones that barely put off any light? Yeah.. get rid of those. I store mine high up in a closet so that when we move I can throw them back on and take my new lighting with me wherever we go next. While you’re at it? Add a ceiling medallion. I found this one for around $20 at Home Depot and it adds an instant bit of old world elegance to the place. Another 5 minute project that makes your place look really finished.

JUST ADD PLANTS:

To be honest, it’s really taken me a solid year in this new apartment to feel like I’m developing a green thumb. It takes daily maintenance. But the rewards of walking in to your home and seeing LIFE all around you is huge to me. Plants are proven to help filter the air in your home and definitively make people feel happier. Grab a new green friend this weekend, put it in a pretty pot and voila!

DIY A CUSTOM HEADBOARD:

I wanted the look of a custom headboard but didn’t want to commit to the price. So we found a cheap upholstered headboard online, covered it in batting from the craft fair and then wrapped it in a beautiful rich velvet fabric I had (and secured with a staple gun on the back). The entire project cost $100 but looks so much more expensive then that.

The Steele Maiden Book Club: Chapter Three

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HOW TO DEFINE YOUR PERSONAL STYLE

If I scroll back a few years into the blog archive there are quite a few outfits that don’t feel like “me” – not to say that I’m embarrassed of anything I wore, it’s just that it would likely have been better suited to someone else. A floral kimono comes to mind.

The funny thing about defining your personal style is that it can take years to figure out.. but at the same time you kind of knew the answers all along. Think of the icons you loved when you were a kid. Mine were Jackie Kennedy, early Elvis and Dolly Parton and the cast of shows like The Wonder Years and Happy Days. I’ve always known that I loved tried and true American staples. A 50s-era full skirted dress, New England fisherman sweaters, borrowed from the boys vintage Levi’s and 70s-style stripes. It’s what I feel most myself in. So why did I try to fight it with those palazzo pants or that body-con dress? Maybe, like finding a partner, you just have to try things on for size. Even if you know they won’t be right for you in the end.

Years ago I wore a huge velvet bow headband to my Mom’s 50th birthday party. It was a whole look. But it felt like me. A little bit vintage schoolgirl prep, a little bit modern without trying too hard. My sister’s boyfriend at the time asked me if I thought I’d look back on pictures of the party down the line and regret such a bold fashion choice. I figured I’d see myself in those pictures and feel pleased that I was confident enough to wear exactly what I wanted at that moment. And p.s. exactly that style of headband happens to be having a major moment right now. But I’m willing to let bygones be bygones.

The point of the story is that if it feels quintessentially “you” at that moment, then wear it. Even if what feels like “you” shifts over time. Although spoiler.. I still love a good hair accessory.

I’ve been thinking a lot this year about my wardrobe and the fact that I’m a happier with fewer things, but ones that all feel quintessentially Jess. The funny thing is that back in my shopping heyday I would have found this idea sort of stifling, but in fact it’s been so refreshing. Every morning I get such a happiness boost when I look into my closet and realize I truly love everything in there. And when I go to add new pieces, I simply ask myself if I’d feel like “me” when wearing it.

Now if only I had saved that velvet headband…

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LET’S CATCH UP 3.31.19

  • I spent last weekend in Charleston with my Mom and Sister on a little girl’s trip. It was my third time visiting that pretty city and I’m still charmed every time. We repeated a lot of the favorites that I mentioned in my Charleston Travel Guide – but this time added on Hominy Grill for brunch, Fleet Landing for a sunset dinner with a view of the water and a candle-making class at Candlefish. Highly recommend all three!
  • After adding a wallpaper accent wall, fresh coat of paint and new DIY mantle to our bedroom, things are really coming together. The next step is art on the walls, curtains and a vintage dresser makeover. Planning a post soon on all of my sources for affordable art, but this print just arrived and I’m in love. I’ve got my eye on this one next.
  • I thought this really honest post regarding money from one of my favorite British bloggers – The Frugality – was so refreshing. I find money to be such an interesting topic and most women really don’t talk about it. I’m thinking of starting a series here where I discuss financial things (like how I budget in an expensive city, how Adam and I handle money in our relationship, how I plan for longterm finances, etc.). Would that be of interest?
  • Speaking of money (well, spending it I guess…) – after plotting and planning for over a year, we just booked on a short trip to Paris in May. I’ve been just once before and that was over 10 years ago but Adam has never been. And honestly, what could be more romantic then a quick skip over to Paris in the spring? I’m hoping to add a couple more pieces to my wardrobe before the trip and this breezy blouse under $40 feels just right. Send me recs if you have them!
  • I’m starting to slowlyyy feel like the heaviness that I carry throughout winter (in my mood and general mental well-being) is lifting as we enjoy the first warmer days here in New York. March is always the toughest month for me mentally so now that I’ve survived it, I’ve got a few things planned this week to celebrate; like piercing the 2nd pair of holes in my ears (which I’ve wanted to do for like 5 years now, ha) and treating Adam to a fun brunch at our favorite Indian restaurant Babu Ji.
  • Last week Adam and I got together with two other couple friends for a game night. We played Pandemic and it was SO fun. Everyone is essentially on the same team and you all get to talk about strategy, but it gets really exciting as you go. Highly recommend. I want to get a copy of it to keep at the lake house this summer.