Earlier this year I moved in to a management role at my company. And while we have a super flexible “creative casual” type dress code, suddenly I found myself looking down at my beat up converse sneakers and thinking that I didn’t look like I passed for anyone’s “boss”.
Part of me still feels like a girl who should be running around the city in mini skirts. Part of me doesn’t feel qualified to be the boss. But the reality is that I’m a 32 year old woman who has 5 people that report to her. And while I don’t think anyone in the office probably gave it a second thought, my split ends and old sneakers weren’t exactly helping me build confidence in my new role.
SHOP THE STORY:
So last week I made a conscious shift. I chopped off the ends of my hair and dug through my closet for all of the nice clothes I actually own. I started planning my outfits the night before so in the morning’s I don’t fall back on grabbing a pair of jeans and running for the door. And I feel so much better already. Instead of feeling like I was giving up the old me… I feel like a slightly new and improved version of myself. Still feminine and a little bit playful but sleeker, more “grown-up”.
Dress for the job you want right? Or at the very least, for the one you have. And don’t worry, I’ll still be running around the city in miniskirts and converse… I’ll just save it for the weekends now.
Anthropologie Sweater via Nuuly Subscription | Franco Sarto Loafers | French Connection Slip Skirt c/o | Dagne Dover Bag c/o – similar here
We just got back from a quick little escape upstate (I still can’t get over the colors of those trees!) and jumped into a very short/very hectic two day work week before we head off again to the lake house this weekend. This month is turning in to a blur. Before you head out on your own adventures this weekend, here’s a few things on my mind:
We basically repeated our same trip upstate from last year (travel guide here), except we added in a “sky ride” at Hunter Mountain – where the photos here were taken. I love this feeling of discovering a new place, but this was budget-friendly and didn’t require a lot of planning or stress which was what we needed right now. Do you go back to the same places year after year or always visit new ones?
On of my goals is to build a better wardrobe of “basics” – like finding the perfect crewneck white t-shirt, fitted cotton layering turtlenecks with a neck that actually stays up and a versatile black sweater – they’re the things I’d reach for everyday and yet never bother to seek out to buy. I’m starting with these turtlenecks.
All too often I hear women downplaying their success, or just never acknowledging it at all. I loved this article on how 25 famous women felt about winning.
I kind of love how this once “dated” color is making a comeback in interiors. Put your hand up if you grew up knowing someone who had carpet this color…
This weather always makes me want to curl up with a big cup of tea and a good book. My favorite mugs are on sale right now and while we’re at it – I’d love to own this copper tea kettle.
I once read that New York City charges a $20 tax just to leave your apartment… and it’s pretty much true. This town just seems to eat money for breakfast. And every other meal after that. When I first introduced the topic of money here, one of the most requested posts was how to save money/live on a budget if you’re in an expensive city. And as someone who has managed to stay afloat in New York for a decade, I’d like to think I’ve got some insight to share here.
I believe that if you’re lucky enough to call an expensive city home (or an expensive suburban town – really this is relevant no matter where you call home), you should be enjoying it. What’s the point of living in Manhattan if you stay holed up in your apartment and never get out and see or do anything? But that being said, unless you’re a wall street mogul (which I’m pretty much guaranteeing no one reading my blog is), you’re going to need to learn how to strike a balance and cut some corners.
My number one advice? Make a list (you guys know I love a list) of the things that are absolutely non-negotiable to you. Is it living alone? Getting to see broadway shows? This list will look different for everyone and you shouldn’t feel bad about that. Maybe going out to eat with friends every week is what brings you joy. Maybe it’s designer shoes. I could care less. But for the rest? You’re going to need to learn to live cheap. Like way below your budget. Live like you’re broke.
In my early twenties I was under the impression that as long as I wasn’t crazy extravagant, I could kind of have it all. I lived alone in a studio apartment (which was always my #1 non negotiable), still went out to bars with friends, shopped for new clothes and ate pretty well. An overpriced latte here, a new book there, a cab ride downtown. You get the picture. I was working two jobs and had zero money at the end of each month. And I never had money to travel like I wanted. I wasn’t necessarily being extravagant in any one area, but I wasn’t living below my budget anywhere either. And I certainly wasn’t getting ahead.
Now all of that has changed. I have a true list of non-negotiables: as nice of an apartment as we can afford (home is super important to me), an emergency fund in the bank, money to travel and money to enjoy the perks of living in New York (whether that be a fun night out with Adam for drinks and live music or going to the ballet with a friend). The rest? You’d think I was flat broke.
I walk everywhere (I take the subway maybe 1-2 times a week if I really need to get far uptown) and don’t even have the Uber app on my phone. I pack my lunch every single day and eat cheap weeknight dinners at home like a big batch of chili, simple stir fry or pasta. You’ll almost never catch me at brunch on the weekends. I make use of the office snacks. We use my sister’s HBO subscription. I give myself at home pedicures. I go to a $20 a month gym. I take books out from the library. My shopping has halted to just a handful of well considered purchases each season. If it’s not on my list of true priorities, I’m hard-pressed to spend money on it. And it’s made all the difference.
In cities it can be easy to just let money slip away in every category. But I swear if you commit to say – making coffee at home every workday or starting a wine club with friends instead of hitting the bar – and watch where every penny is going, you’ll be able to indulge in the things that really matter to you. Even better? If you’re open about your budget, there’s a good chance most of your city living friends will admit that they’re in the same boat and together you guys can find fun things to do that are within your means.
It’s taken me two months to get through my last round of book club picks, with some that I loved and one that I couldn’t even finish (which almost never happens to me!). Below – my thoughts + what’s stacked up on my shelf for the month ahead.
SHOP THIS MONTH’S BOOK CLUB PICKS:
My Year of Rest & Relaxationby Ottessa Moshfegh – While I can’t say this book was a feel good read (perhaps the exact opposite).. it was definitely interesting. Okay it was depressing. But interesting too. It’s essentially a cautionary tale about a younger generation becoming disillusioned and out of touch with reality and follows one girl’s desire to escape it all. (2.5 out of 5 stars)
Eleanor Oliphant is Completely Fineby Gail Honeyman – This one isn’t a feel good book either (apparently that was my accidental theme here), but it’s a book that speaks to trauma, loneliness and human connection. There are definite moments of humor in here too and overall I really enjoyed it. I’m going to a book club meet-up in a few weeks that discusses this and I’m interested to hear what everyone thought of it. (4 out of 5 stars)
Leading Menby Christopher Castellani – Historical fiction based on Tennessee Williams and his real life, long time partner Frank Merlo, the story flashes between the 1950s and present day – following a group of characters that met while traveling through Southern Italy in the 50s. Overall I really enjoyed this story for the American literary cast and the fact that all of the “love stories” were less conventional than popular fiction usually focuses on. That being said, I definitely found some parts to be slow and it took me more time than expected to get through this. (3.5 out of 5 stars)
Gingerbreadby Helen Oyeyemi – Ahh. I really wanted to love this. The concept is so interesting (set in modern day London, but following the mythical story of three generations of women who bake magic gingerbread and are essentially from a fairytale land. In the first chapter I was so full of hope and loved the writing.. but somewhere around the middle I couldn’t keep going. The writing style became more and more scattered to me and I just had to set this one aside. I’d say it was just me but I had two friends who tried the book and felt the exact same way. (1.5 out of 5 stars)
Three Womenby Lisa Taddeo – There has been a lot of hype surrounding this book which usually makes me feel cautious, but this was an incredible work of non-fiction that was unlike anything else I’ve read. It follows the true lives of three women and their honest accounts and feelings about their love lives. I heard some critics of this book that said they found the situations extreme and the details cringeworthy + wanted the hear the men’s side of the story. I couldn’t disagree more. I found the honesty to be so refreshing and thought that there’s so much relatable truth in each woman’s story – the common theme I think was that we’re all just seeking acceptance and love, no matter the circumstances. (4.5 out of 5 stars)
SHOP NEXT MONTH’S BOOK CLUB PICKS:
I’m so excited about the stack of books I’ve got lined up next – City of Girls by Elizabeth Gilbert (author of Eat, Pray, Love – this fiction story follows 1940’s showgirls in NYC, basically my dream book and several people have already told me how much they think I’ll love this one), Save Me the Plums byRuth Reichl (follows the wild world of publishing at CondéNast and Gourmet Mag back when it was all booming), Circe byMadeline Miller (this one is out of my normal lane but I’m excited to dive into the world of Greek mythology), The Good Neighbor by Maxwell King(because who doesn’t love Mr. Rogers?) and lastly – because it’s October and I love a theme Toil & Trouble by Augusten Burroughs (I’m a big fan of his brutally honest and hilarious memoir Running with Scissors so I’m excited for his brand new book). Now who wants to give me 2 extra hours every day to read?
I know the basic premise of these catch up posts is essentially always just me exclaiming “where has the time gone?!?!” but I mean.. how is it nearly October?!?! I love this time of year but it always feels like I’m trying to hold sand between my fingers from about Labor Day through New Years Eve. So let’s pause and catch up, shall we? Below, a few things on my mind before we head into the weekend.
The last time I wrote on of these posts (in August) I noted that Adam and I had a goal of finishing the living room set-up by October. While I’m not sure it will be “done” by next week, I’m pretty proud of the progress we’ve made since then. This weekend we’re hanging shelves and hopefully picking up some throw pillows for the couch. I like the looks of these… but will they instantly get dirty? Hm.
I visited my best friend from college in Minnesota this past weekend and we talked a lot about how difficult it is to make new friends now that we’re adults. She’s in a new town and a new mom while I’m in the same city that many of my friends from my 20s have since moved away from. Much like the awkwardness of dating.. you really just have to put yourself back out there. To that end, I went to a meet-up hosted by Meghan of Wit & Whimsy on Wednesday that was so lovely and I’m going to check out the fiction book club held every month at Barnes and Noble (their October book is Eleanor Oliphant is Completely Fine which luckily I’ve already read). Any other great advice for me?
We’ve got a wedding to attend in October and I just snagged this very romantic looking dress in the Shopbop sale, fingers crossed it looks great in person. I may belt it for a bit more shape and will definitely be pairing it with a berry lipstick.
I finallyyyy saw the movie Booksmart this past weekend and already want to watch it again. Such a wonderfully diverse cast of young people, sharp comedy and a refreshing break from your typical “high school buddy comedy”. Go watch it if you haven’t yet. In a completely separate state of mind I also saw Hustlers this weekend – if only to see how strong J.Lo’s age-defying body still is at 50, go see it. But also, it’s pretty good as a whole and Constance Wu is great as always.
For the past couple of months I’ve been using this Elemis Plumping Facial Moisturizer at night. I’ve talked about their products here before and while they feel like a splurge for someone like me who doesn’t typically treat themselves to fancy skincare, I 100% see a difference in my skin when I use it vs when I don’t. In the morning my skin just feels brighter and smoother. It also feels like liquid silk when you apply it and makes my nighttime routine seem so much more glamorous. Worth every penny if you ask me.
