STEELE MAIDEN BOOK CLUB: CHAPTER THIRTEEN

The Gifted School by Bruce Holsinger: If you’re a fan of Big Little Lies, you’ll like this drama-filled dynamic in this story. Focused on a group of parents and children in an idyllic Colorado town as parental pressures to succeed, children’s attempts to define themselves and long-held secrets start to unravel a group of old friends. (3.5 out of 5 stars)

Drive Your Plow Over the Bones of the Dead by Olga: This book got a ton of buzz but it was a tough one for me. I don’t mind a dark story – in fact I often really love them – but I don’t know that I ever truly was able to connect to the characters. Also, this was originally written in Polish and then translated, and despite thinking it’s super important to read writing from other points of view and cultures, I do think that a little bit of the finesse of the native tongue always gets lost in translation. So.. buyer beware? (2.5 out of 5 stars)

The Grammarians by Cathleen Schine: Like a love letter to language itself, this is a quick read about the lives of two twin sisters with an affinity for grammar and a healthy amount of sibling rivalry. I loved the quick-quipped writing and the way the sisters lives intertwined. (4 out of 5 stars)

Mrs. Everything by Jennifer Weiner: From 1950s through present day this story follows two sisters and their search to find themselves as they understand and define their relationship with each other, their mother and the women closest to them. While I didn’t think this book was perfect I thought it was a great example of how much, and how little, has changed for women since mid-century. (4 out of 5 stars)

Marilou is Everywhere by Sarah Elaine Smith: A coming of age story told through the strangest and darkest scenario, set in rural Pennsylvania. There’s plenty of heartbreak in this story but it’s so beautifully written you find yourself wanting more of it. One of my favorite books I’ve read so far this year. (5 out of 5 stars)

The Dutch House by Ann Patchett: Already honestly one of my all time favorite books. I wanted to live inside this story and certainly want to read it again. Centered on the relationship between siblings Danny and Maeve and the house that raised them, broke them and largely defined them. I can’t say enough good things here – just please go read it. (5 out of 5 stars)

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I’ve been reading more than ever this year thanks to the extra push of starting a new #bookstagram IG account with my best friend from college Claire (you can follow along here) – so I’m already through several of these and can’t wait to share what I think with you all!

My stack includes: The Secrets We Kept by Lara Prescott, Wild Game by Adrienne Brodeur, Red White & Royal Blue by Casey McQuiston, The Swans of Fifth Avenue by Melanie Benjamin, Red at the Bone by Jacqueline Woodson and The City Baker’s Guide to Country Living by Louise Miller.

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ESCAPING INTO SPRING STYLE

Last week – when the world still felt like you could escape it all – Adam and I did just that and popped down to St Pete Beach, Florida for a few days in the sun.

We stayed at the Don Cesar Hotel (which I’ll tell you more about but suffice to say it was lovely) and between the endless blue skies, white sand beaches, and gorgeous pink facade – the whole thing really did feel like a getaway from reality.

Now of course, I’m firmly back in the strange reality that is New York right now – but at least there are true hints of spring weather and at least I still have this dress which is the perfect transition piece. One that I can already picture a million ways I’ll wear it. Which of course, I realize are frivolous at a time like this… but sometimes you’ve got to find your own sunshine.

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ON RELATIONSHIPS: CHANGING YOUR LAST NAME

Would you change your last name if you got married? Or did you? I’ve always found this to be a topic that gets people fired up for whatever reason. I suppose wanting to defend their stance as the “right way”. And while I have an opinion here – I don’t really think there’s one right or wrong way. Just that it’s interesting to consider the options.

I’ve personally always, from the time I was a kid, felt really strongly that I would never change my name. Aside from having a last name that I love (and now a denim jacket emblazoned with it), I just couldn’t imagine taking on someone else’s last name. On top of that, my grandparents had 3 boys, all of which had all girls. All of whom – aside from me – are married and took their husband’s names. Which makes me the last one to carry it on. So aside from wanting to keep it, I want my children to have it too.

Along the way, there have been men that have scoffed at this.. some of which I’ve regrettably been dating. And there have been plenty of people that have suggested I hyphenate. Or at least give the kids his name. But I’m just skeptical about the whole thing.

I’ve often wondered why so many families were carrying on the legacy of the names of bad men. Why in some of those cases didn’t the family think – Dad went out for cigarettes in 1956 and never came back while Mom was really the backbone of this whole thing – shouldn’t we all carry on her name? A few years back one of my best friend’s got married and her and her husband – neither of which felt a strong familial connection – chose an entirely new last name and both changed their names to that. I’ve always thought it was such a beautiful sentiment.

So take his name if you want. Or hyphenate. Or take hers. Or create a new one all together. Or swap every 10 years for all I care. Let’s just consider the options, shall we?

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*Jacket was a gift from Wrangler and personalized at Nordstrom.

ON MONEY: 10 IDEAS FOR FREE SELF CARE

There’s a booming, billion dollar industry built on wellness. But it’s a sort of ‘Instagram-ready’ wellness isn’t it? The fancy face cream. The $100 workout leggings. The expensive meditation retreat. Designed to have us all living our best lives.. for a price. All of it being sold to us as “self care”. Which makes it easy to treat yourself to these things under the pretense that it’s good for you. Which can become a slippery slope when it comes to trying to stick to a financial plan.

And I’m not here to argue that the pricey workout classes won’t get you toned, which may in turn lead to higher self esteem. Or that the $40 face mask won’t visibly decrease wrinkles and give you one less thing to stress about. I’m just saying that I don’t think these things are “self care”. Because if they are… it means that only a select percentage of women get to indulge in them. That, essentially, only the wealthy deserve “self care”. And that doesn’t sit well with me.

I think that the majority of the wellness industry should be considered treats. Just like buying a new pair of shoes. No need to deprive yourself of them if they fit within your budget and it’s something you want to prioritize – but if you’re looking for “self care” there are about a million ways to do it for free. Here are my top 10 favorite ways to feel like I’m truly taking care of myself, that don’t cost a dime:

  1. Phone a friend. I’m all for a quick text, but hearing a friend or family member’s actual voice in this digital age gives me such a true boost in happiness.
  2. While we’re on the subject of money, set aside time to check in on yours. I like to reserve at least 30-45 minutes once a week to review my budget. It makes me feel like I’m sticking to my goals and I’m in control of my spending. Adam and I actually do this together each week and it feels like self care for our relationship too.
  3. Fold and put away your laundry immediately. I’ll admit that the idea of this feels like climbing a mountain after already schlepping to the laundromat, but when I do it.. I feel SO much better. While you’re at it, make the bed each morning. The feeling of looking around your home and feeling at ease as opposed to feeling like you’re looking at one giant chore list is worth the extra up front effort.
  4. Learn something new. Google a random fact about a subject you’re interested in. Watch a youtube tutorial video or pick up a book that’s been lingering on your shelf. Just expand your mind for a few minutes.
  5. Stretchhh it out. It’s kind of amazing what a good stretch will do for you. You can easily Youtube some simple variations if you don’t know where to start.
  6. Play bartender/barista at home. There’s something that feels really great to me about taking time to fix yourself a nice drink. I love a gin and tonic with a twist of fresh lime or a big mug of peppermint green tea.
  7. While this one is free – it does require a partner so I realize it won’t be an option for everyone. But for god sakes if you’re lucky enough to have someone special in your life.. hug and kiss them! Daily! Multiple times a day in fact! It’s proven to promote feelings of happiness and closeness. And I mean, it’s probably the most fun thing on the list.
  8. Get your blood pumping. Sure – a good make-out session could do that too – but I mean working out. You don’t need a gym or fancy clothes or special training or sunny weather. I’m guessing you have 3 feet of free space and know how to run in place and do jumping jacks, sit-ups and push-ups? Great. Now repeat until you’re breathless and sweating. Pinterest and Youtube all have amazing, free routines you can try. If you’re not quite up for all of that, take a long walk instead. There’s nothing better in my opinion for clearing your mind.
  9. Go to bed 30 minutes earlier. For a long time Adam and I thought we didn’t need to go to bed until 11PM. Which meant we were still up watching TV at 11PM. We didn’t factor in that it takes us another 30 minutes to fold the blankets on the couch, lock up, wash our faces, brush our teeth, etc. etc. And before we knew it, the clock was striking midnight before we were truly asleep. Now we start to wind down everything at 10:30PM and I swear it has made a world of difference.
  10. They say the cure for anything is to just add water – and I really agree. If I can go for a swim, that’s the ideal, but if not I take a long hot shower or bath. Or drink a big glass of water. Or, if it’s really drastic, I’ll cue the waterworks (I’m not a cryer so this is pretty rare – but for some of you this may be a regular exercise which I think is great!). Either way, I always feel better after I’ve added water.

THE STEELE MAIDEN BOOK CLUB: CHAPTER TWELVE

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I just realized that my last book club post was in 3 months ago (!) but honestly the time between October and the end of the year always flies by to me. So here we are. A new year and a new stack of books. Below – my reviews for the books I finished (many of which were some of the best books I read all of last year!) and what I’ve got on my shelf to read next.

P.S. In case you missed me mentioning it, my best friend from college and I started a new Instagram account @prettywords dedicated solely to our love of all things reading. A #bookstagram if you will. It’s been so fun to create a little space that has no pressure and is all about one of things I love most in life. Follow along if you want, but don’t worry – I’ll be continuing these posts as well!

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Circe by Madeline Miller – This book really took me by surprise. I’m not usually a fantasy genre reader but after hearing good things about this book I picked it up on a whim from the library and really fell in love with it. A Greek mythology story that spans literally thousands of years but somehow still manages to be a page turner. Highly recommend. (5 out of 5 stars)

The Good Neighbor by Maxwell King – A look at the life and work of the inimitable Fred Rogers. This book was admittedly, pretty dry. But at the same time it was super endearing to hear the back story of such a known and loved public figure and I found myself collecting tidbits of parenting tips for the future. I definitely skimmed some bits – but my friend Claire listened to this on audiobook which I think may have been an even better option to easily digest. (3.5 out of 5 stars)

Save Me the Plums by Ruth Reichl – This memoir follow’s Ruth’s time as the Editor in Chief of Gourmet magazine in the late nineties/early 2000s. A time when Condé Nast editors were celebrities in their own right and magazines had seemingly unlimited budgets. Such a fun look into a glittering world that I always dreamed about from afar. (4.5 out of 5 stars)

Toil & Trouble by Augusten Burroughs – Aside from David Sedaris, Burroughs (who wrote Running with Scissors) is one of my favorite authors in a genre I like to call ‘anecdotal memoirs’. Short stories about their lives and observations about the world around them are told with equal parts honesty and humor. This particular set of stories focuses on the theme that Burroughs is in fact, a witch. I read it around Halloween which was fun, but honestly I would have loved it any time of year. (5 out of 5 stars)

City of Girls by Elizabeth Gilbert – Last year I waited months for this book to come out. I bought a signed copy as soon as I could get my hands on one. And then I didn’t open the book for about 6 months. As friends read it and text me to say how much I’d love it, I waited.. already knowing I’d be sad once I’d finished it. Which is silly I know. But as suspected I loved this book. And was in fact sad once it was over. It starts out in New York in the 1940s in a whirlwind of showgirl glamour and ends quietly in the same Gramercy neighborhood that I live. It’s so much fun and also heartbreaking and just all around wonderful. (5 out of 5 stars)

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To be honest, this post is so delayed that I’m already halfway through the next stack – so expect another round of reviews soon! Most of these are recent library finds aside from Marilou is Everywhere which was recommended to me and The Dutch House which I’ve been excited about ever since getting bit by the Ann Patchett bug last summer when I read her novel Commonwealth. Happy reading!