If I had a dollar for every time someone has asked me when Adam and I were going to get married… well I don’t know if I’d be a rich woman but I certainly could have bought myself a very nice pair of shoes by now. If I had a dollar for every time someone asked him the same question, or instead questioned me on when I’d become a boss or earn 6 figures or travel the world.. I’d be barefoot out there. As Taylor Swift says.. “All they keep asking me, is if I’m gonna be your bride? The only kind of girl they see is a one night or a wife.” (bless her). For a reason I can’t comprehend, it seems to trouble people when they can’t chart a woman’s path. I suppose it seems dangerous if we’re allowed to veer too far off course?
For the record, I’ve never said I wouldn’t get married. I just have never felt any pressure to do it according to someone else’s timeline. I have been committed to Adam since pretty much the moment I laid eyes on him. We’ve spent the past (nearly 13) years growing together, learning how best to love each other.. trying for other sorts of dreams. None of that is any less worthy of celebration just because we weren’t married.
I suppose I’m saying all of this because I have somewhat complicated feelings about some of the notions of marriage. But I very much like the idea of a partnership and sharing your life with someone you love. And I’m not against putting that on a legal document. I’m just against acting like getting asked to do so is the crowning achievement of a woman’s life.
What I’m getting at is this. Adam and I are getting married in September. We’re doing it our way, just like we’ve done it for the past decade+ and how I hope we continue for the next 5 or 6 decades to come. I can’t imagine sharing the “engagement” story here (some things are too precious and personal for the internet, no?), there’s no ring, and I’ve never had any intentions of having a bridal shower or a bachelorette party. All of those things are great if you want them.. I just don’t.
There will just be two people, on what I hope is a crisp Fall day in New York City, putting a bookmark in a story that’s still being written.
Thank you all for being here for quite a bit of that story and for all of the kind words that have been sent our way since I mentioned this on Instagram. It’s so touching to know that people have been rooting for us all along (marriage or not). And I do promise to share a few bits and pieces of this all with you as it happens.