Would you change your last name if you got married? Or did you? I’ve always found this to be a topic that gets people fired up for whatever reason. I suppose wanting to defend their stance as the “right way”. And while I have an opinion here – I don’t really think there’s one right or wrong way. Just that it’s interesting to consider the options.
I’ve personally always, from the time I was a kid, felt really strongly that I would never change my name. Aside from having a last name that I love (and now a denim jacket emblazoned with it), I just couldn’t imagine taking on someone else’s last name. On top of that, my grandparents had 3 boys, all of which had all girls. All of whom – aside from me – are married and took their husband’s names. Which makes me the last one to carry it on. So aside from wanting to keep it, I want my children to have it too.
Along the way, there have been men that have scoffed at this.. some of which I’ve regrettably been dating. And there have been plenty of people that have suggested I hyphenate. Or at least give the kids his name. But I’m just skeptical about the whole thing.
I’ve often wondered why so many families were carrying on the legacy of the names of bad men. Why in some of those cases didn’t the family think – Dad went out for cigarettes in 1956 and never came back while Mom was really the backbone of this whole thing – shouldn’t we all carry on her name? A few years back one of my best friend’s got married and her and her husband – neither of which felt a strong familial connection – chose an entirely new last name and both changed their names to that. I’ve always thought it was such a beautiful sentiment.
So take his name if you want. Or hyphenate. Or take hers. Or create a new one all together. Or swap every 10 years for all I care. Let’s just consider the options, shall we?
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*Jacket was a gift from Wrangler and personalized at Nordstrom.
Honorable mention to snake-print and zebra-print.. but leopard print is still the biggest cat (I mean trend) this Fall. Luckily for me, I’ve always loved a dose of leopard print so I was able to jump feet first into this trend as soon as the first chill of air hit New York this past weekend.
There’s something very 1960s glam about leopard print to me that pulls at my vintage-loving heartstrings. Picture actress Sharon Tate in a mod leopard coat or pin-up Jayne Mansfield in cheetah print pedal pushers. Leopard is timeless and luxe and undeniably sexy in its confidence. Which I suppose is why I decided to go for a double dose of it.
A little or a lot is up to you, but regardless your level of daring – there’s plenty of leopard to go around this fall. Below a few similar dresses plus some of my favorite accessories in the print.
It’s hard to wrap my head around the fact that we’re now halfway through 2019. But ready or not, we’re here. And so I figured it was as good a time as any to check back in on my 2019 goals. How was I holding up? Did I need to re-focus? I’m happy to report I’m probably doing better than I’m giving myself credit for – but at the same time I think I’ve got areas where I can continue to push myself in meaningful ways and end up with a year that I’m really proud of. Below, my check in.
WORK: In my full time job, things have been a bit of a whirlwind so far this year so I haven’t made any progress on that dream project I hinted at back in January. However, I have made some fun plans for a little side gig that I’m working on launching by the Fall. For the rest of this year I want to try and really focus on the things that I’m passionate about and dreaming big about the future of my career.
HEALTH: I think I’ve actually made the most progress in this category – that’s not as easily shareable on the blog. In the past couple of months I’ve been continuing to challenge myself in my fitness routine and feel stronger each week. Mentally, I’ve made some really good progress on finding what triggers anxious feelings for me and what helps to ease them. Likewise, I think I did a bit better than in years past with getting through the winter without falling into too deep of my usual winter blues. And lastly, I’m most proud of the things I’ve done to measurably improve my financial health. I started the year far from where I wanted to be, but after making a clear budget per week/month and projecting 1 year, 2 year, 5 year and 10 year goals and benchmarks for myself I have made huge strides towards controlling spending habits and setting myself up for the future. For the rest of the year I want to amp up my fitness and my savings whenever possible!
EXPLORATION: I think I’m doing pretty well here too! That trip to Paris that I was manifesting is in the books and I’ve been pushing myself to get out and explore New York City as much as possible. From going to a monthly writer’s workshop to a weeknight trip to the ballet or a comedy club, I’ve been putting myself out there more. I hope to plan another couple of getaways for the rest of this year and continue to explore my favorite city!
HOME: Admittedly, I’ve still got work to do here. Just this past weekend I told Adam that I need to stop letting “perfect be the enemy of good” and just finally wrap up a couple of the rooms in our apartment that I’m hung up on. Then we can get on to actually enjoying them and entertaining! Last but definitely not least I included my relationship with Adam in this category (he’s home after all) – and because like any good relationship it’s always a work in progress and deserves just as much attention as my focus on career and health. This year we’ve been striving to be better communicators and I hope that continues to improve as the rest of the year plays out.
If you follow me on Instagram then you may have seen me mention I had officially gone 3 MONTHS without shopping for a single piece of clothing or accessories. In mid-December it was because I was spending on Christmas gifts for family instead. In January it was a concerted effort to practice self control and focus on my finances for the year ahead. But my February and into March it was simply because I really had re-set my attitude towards my wardrobe. Simply liking something in the moment wasn’t enough for me to own it. A sale going on didn’t need that I had to grab something just because it was a steal. In three months I’ve really been able to come to terms with what I want my wardrobe and shopping habits to look like going forward.
And that doesn’t mean I’ll never shop again. In fact, I finally broke the streak and just picked up this dress (which I know will work at the office with flats and a sweater, on a date with heels and on weekends with sneakers and a denim jacket). And I’ll likely grab a few more of the pieces shown here (the linen blazer and this little bag are top contenders) knowing that I’ll wear them constantly throughout the Spring and Summer ahead.
Happy shopping (or not – you decide for yourself).
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ps. this one bag is just over $100 but it’s so cute I made an exception.
We’re just a day away from the official kick-off of NYFW and aside from pulling outfits, I always make time for a bit of beauty prep before the madness begins. This year I headed to Soho to check out Marie-Lou & D salon. Decorated by a French designer who usually sticks to chateaus, the interior reads more like a chic and inviting Parisian pied-à-terre rather than a stuffy salon (aka my worst nightmare).
One of my favorite parts of Marie-Lou & D is that they offer just about everything. For someone who is always short on time – that means I was able to freshen up my hair color at the same time that I got a glossy new manicure (I went with this color for Fashion Week). Did I mention I was sipping a glass of Prosecco at the same time? Now that’s multi-tasking.
The result? A brighter, blonder color for Fall that plays up the natural color the sun afforded me this summer. A year or so ago I stopped using traditional highlights and switched to using the bayalage method. That means the roots grow out slowly and naturally and I only have to go in for color about twice a year. Major win. Yoann (the stylist I used) got it just right and I left feeling ready to tackle another exciting/exhausting/exhilarating round of NYFW.
If you’re looking for a new salon in town, I highly recommend Marie-Lou & D! Try them out for yourself and mention code THESTEELEMAIDEN for a 15% off discount.