I’ve struggled to think what to post here lately, as any regular content seems somehow frivolous. Aside from my “to-do list” during this time at home and my tips for pandemic financial planning.. I’m at a loss. But I did think a round-up of what’s on my mind felt appropriate so I hope you’ll indulge me. And more than anything, I hope you all are staying well.
I’m not sure what the “ideal” scenario would be for this all… but I have to imagine I’m close to it. No children to try to juggle while I work from home, a comfortable home, a partner I truly do like. But still.. this is testing us. I liked this article on How to Stay Married During a Pandemic.
The first week or so we were in lockdown I really had trouble focusing on reading. But lately I’ve found my groove and am on my fifth book! I’m currently reading Writers & Lovers via e-book thanks to Scribd.com which is offering a free 30 day trial right now. They’ve got tons of new releases on audiobooks and e-books! And if you need more books in your life (and don’t we all?), I’ve got a #bookstagram account now!
It certainly doesn’t solve anything but internet humor really does seem to help, no? I liked this fan fiction scene that someone wrote about how Frasier, Niles & Marty would deal in this scenario. (found via Cup of Jo).
Aside from re-watching Mad Men from the beginning and obviously flying through Tiger King (still shook honestly) – we just started Fleabag on Amazon Prime. If you haven’t seen it, I’d describe it as Sex & The City Season 1 meets Shameless.. but British. Only 3 episodes in and we’re hooked!
I think it’s tough to be creative or even very productive during this time – but @annstreetstudio and @krystal_bick are two influencers that I’ve been so inspired by these past couple of weeks – creating beauty and unique content despite the constraints of the current situation.
(Wearing Camp Shirt + Marilyn Jeans gifted from NYDJ – right now they’re offering 25% off sitewide and donating 10% of profits to the United Way Covid-19 relief efforts)
Well, this is a post I never thought I’d write. But I’ve seen a lot of “quarantine shopping lists” from bloggers lately and I can’t imagine that’s the type of content that anyone really needs right now. So I wanted to contribute something to a topic that hopefully felt more relevant and helpful.
Money. It’s the thing that’s come up in every single conversation I’ve had with friends, family members and fellow New Yorkers. After a fear of the virus itself – everyone I’ve spoken with has expressed some level of concern over money. And sadly, I think we’re just scraping the surface of those concerns. I’m obviously not an expert financial planner, but I do think there a few things that all of us could be doing right now to help ease our anxiety. Since we were all in very different financial situations before this even started, I’m breaking these suggestions down into 3 different scenarios that you might be finding yourself in right now.
If You Are Experiencing Major Financial Panic Right Now:
First of all, I’m sorry. There are SO many that fall into this category. From those that own a small business to those that were just laid off. I think the hardest thing is not knowing how long you’ll be in this situation, so it’s important to plan really carefully.
To begin, I’d write out every single non negotiable expense you have (rent/mortgage, insurance, groceries), every negotiable expense (netflix, gym membership) and where you’re at with any remaining income + savings. Cut every single negotiable expense and then run the numbers on how long you can last? If it’s one month or ten – at least you’ve got a deadline. Now, look again at those “non-negotiables”. Can you ask for a delayed rent payment in the meantime? Maybe you’ve got landlords who would be willing to help. Think you need to spend $300 a week on food? Here is a grocery list for 2 people that only costs $50 a week. My point is you’re going to need to get really creative here and take your expenses as close to rock bottom as you can.
Beyond that, there are a wealth of resources being shared right now about federal and state level funding for individuals put out of work or small businesses affected. I know they can feel overwhelming to sift through, but the sooner you look at what options might be available to you, the sooner you can feel a glimmer of relief. And don’t forget to think through what side hustle skills – like babysitting – could be of real use to others right now and could generate some extra income for you.
If You Are Feeling Unsure of How to Handle Your Finances Right Now:
I think the majority of us likely fall into this category. Maybe your spouse has lost their job but you still have yours. Or you are employed now but are worried you could be laid off down the line. Regardless of the circumstances, now is the time to reassess your budget and savings.
Look carefully at your monthly spending. This is not a normal month, so you can’t go with your normal budget. Adam and I just reviewed the monthly budget we use and quickly realized how much has changed. For instance, he is working from home which means he’s spending $0 in gas and tolls. Our grocery bill skyrocketed as we planned to cook 3 meals a day at home for both of us, but our discretionary budget for things like going to the movies or grabbing a drink has flatlined. Take time to adjust your budget to your new normal. That may either be more or less expensive than what you’re used to.
If there’s anything extra, I suggest bulking up any savings you have right now. 58% of millenials have less than $5,000 in savings – and if you live in an expensive place like New York, that isn’t going to last you all that long. We’re currently in the exact scenario of why you want to have an emergency fund. Start building it up any way you can.
If You Want to Manage Your Money Wisely Right Now:
First of all count yourself lucky. If you fall in this category it means you likely have a stable job that you know can weather this storm and a comfortable amount of savings.
I’d suggest being cautious with investments and spending – but if your discretionary budget still exists then please, please, please use it for the following. Supporting small businesses or giving back to those desperately in need right now. Below, a list of suggestions. And thank you in advance.
You may not receive your order right away, but every dollar means a lot to small businesses right now, and you can always consider a gift card too. Lulu Frost (the one I work for goes without saying – we’re a team of 7 based in NYC and female owned), Brooklyn Candle Studio, NYDJ (they’re giving a portion of proceeds back to charity as well) and McNally Jackson bookstores to name just a few.
No Kid Hungry is supporting kids who are going hungry now that they’re out of schools, Heart to Heart is helping provide medical supplies and on a local level, here is a list of funds being raised for many of New York’s beloved bars and restaurants. These are just a short list of where I’ll be contributing, but do your research and help anywhere you can.
Since my post last week it’s almost difficult to wrap my head around how much has changed about our daily lives. We’re working from home, we’re removed from friends, family and strangers, we’re only going out for short walks and to the grocery stores. It’s a wild time to be alive. I don’t have much more to add to the conversation surrounding the global climate right now other than to hope you’re all staying safe – but I do have ways that I’m staying sane. And I figured I’d share. Below: the 10 things I’m planning on doing with my newfound spare time indoors.
1.Start my ukulele lessons. I’ve been swearing I’d make time for this since Christmas and truly haven’t had the time. Today Adam got it all tuned up so I’m armed and ready to finally dive in.
2. Organize kitchen and bathroom cabinets. Last weekend we tackled this by throwing out anything old/expired, wiped down all the insides and then re-organized everything inside. It felt great.
3. Video calls with friends & family. I’ve got a session scheduled with two of my best girlfriends from college on Friday and I want to get in some quality facetime with my niece and nephew too. Staying connected and seeing their faces in real time feels so important right now.
4. Work-out at least 5x per week. I’m grateful that I started doing more and more at-home video workouts starting last year. I’ll be ramping those up and getting out for walks and runs whenever possible. Plus, I’ve convinced Adam to do yoga with me 1x per week.
5. Bake banana bread. I typically never have time to spend a whole lot of time in the kitchen but these days we’ve been cooking healthy meals 3x a day at home. I want to step up my game and bake something delicious while we’re at it.
6. Closet spring cleaning. I want to start to pack away sweaters and heavier coats plus gather things to donate once charity shops have re-opened.
7. Work on my book. It’s still in such a fledgling state but I figure if ever there is a time to get the creative juices flowing and do some writing, it’s now.
8. Read, read, read. And if I’m not writing, I’ll be reading. A good book feels like such a welcome escape right now. If you want to see the list of what’s on my shelf right now – it’s here.
9. Game night with Adam. We plan to dust off the scrabble board, turn off the TV and have a good old-fashioned game night.
10. Send notes to grandparents. A hand-written note to those of us who really can’t get out much these days would go a long way.
The Gifted School by Bruce Holsinger: If you’re a fan of Big Little Lies, you’ll like this drama-filled dynamic in this story. Focused on a group of parents and children in an idyllic Colorado town as parental pressures to succeed, children’s attempts to define themselves and long-held secrets start to unravel a group of old friends. (3.5 out of 5 stars)
Drive Your Plow Over the Bones of the Dead by Olga: This book got a ton of buzz but it was a tough one for me. I don’t mind a dark story – in fact I often really love them – but I don’t know that I ever truly was able to connect to the characters. Also, this was originally written in Polish and then translated, and despite thinking it’s super important to read writing from other points of view and cultures, I do think that a little bit of the finesse of the native tongue always gets lost in translation. So.. buyer beware? (2.5 out of 5 stars)
The Grammarians by Cathleen Schine: Like a love letter to language itself, this is a quick read about the lives of two twin sisters with an affinity for grammar and a healthy amount of sibling rivalry. I loved the quick-quipped writing and the way the sisters lives intertwined. (4 out of 5 stars)
Mrs. Everything by Jennifer Weiner: From 1950s through present day this story follows two sisters and their search to find themselves as they understand and define their relationship with each other, their mother and the women closest to them. While I didn’t think this book was perfect I thought it was a great example of how much, and how little, has changed for women since mid-century. (4 out of 5 stars)
Marilou is Everywhere by Sarah Elaine Smith: A coming of age story told through the strangest and darkest scenario, set in rural Pennsylvania. There’s plenty of heartbreak in this story but it’s so beautifully written you find yourself wanting more of it. One of my favorite books I’ve read so far this year. (5 out of 5 stars)
The Dutch House by Ann Patchett: Already honestly one of my all time favorite books. I wanted to live inside this story and certainly want to read it again. Centered on the relationship between siblings Danny and Maeve and the house that raised them, broke them and largely defined them. I can’t say enough good things here – just please go read it. (5 out of 5 stars)
SHOP MY BOOK CLUB PICKS:
I’ve been reading more than ever this year thanks to the extra push of starting a new #bookstagram IG account with my best friend from college Claire (you can follow along here) – so I’m already through several of these and can’t wait to share what I think with you all!
My stack includes: The Secrets We Kept by Lara Prescott, Wild Game by Adrienne Brodeur, Red White & Royal Blue by Casey McQuiston, The Swans of Fifth Avenue by Melanie Benjamin, Red at the Bone by Jacqueline Woodson and The City Baker’s Guide to Country Living by Louise Miller.
There’s a booming, billion dollar industry built on wellness. But it’s a sort of ‘Instagram-ready’ wellness isn’t it? The fancy face cream. The $100 workout leggings. The expensive meditation retreat. Designed to have us all living our best lives.. for a price. All of it being sold to us as “self care”. Which makes it easy to treat yourself to these things under the pretense that it’s good for you. Which can become a slippery slope when it comes to trying to stick to a financial plan.
And I’m not here to argue that the pricey workout classes won’t get you toned, which may in turn lead to higher self esteem. Or that the $40 face mask won’t visibly decrease wrinkles and give you one less thing to stress about. I’m just saying that I don’t think these things are “self care”. Because if they are… it means that only a select percentage of women get to indulge in them. That, essentially, only the wealthy deserve “self care”. And that doesn’t sit well with me.
I think that the majority of the wellness industry should be considered treats. Just like buying a new pair of shoes. No need to deprive yourself of them if they fit within your budget and it’s something you want to prioritize – but if you’re looking for “self care” there are about a million ways to do it for free. Here are my top 10 favorite ways to feel like I’m truly taking care of myself, that don’t cost a dime:
Phone a friend. I’m all for a quick text, but hearing a friend or family member’s actual voice in this digital age gives me such a true boost in happiness.
While we’re on the subject of money, set aside time to check in on yours. I like to reserve at least 30-45 minutes once a week to review my budget. It makes me feel like I’m sticking to my goals and I’m in control of my spending. Adam and I actually do this together each week and it feels like self care for our relationship too.
Fold and put away your laundry immediately. I’ll admit that the idea of this feels like climbing a mountain after already schlepping to the laundromat, but when I do it.. I feel SO much better. While you’re at it, make the bed each morning. The feeling of looking around your home and feeling at ease as opposed to feeling like you’re looking at one giant chore list is worth the extra up front effort.
Learn something new. Google a random fact about a subject you’re interested in. Watch a youtube tutorial video or pick up a book that’s been lingering on your shelf. Just expand your mind for a few minutes.
Stretchhh it out. It’s kind of amazing what a good stretch will do for you. You can easily Youtube some simple variations if you don’t know where to start.
Play bartender/barista at home. There’s something that feels really great to me about taking time to fix yourself a nice drink. I love a gin and tonic with a twist of fresh lime or a big mug of peppermint green tea.
While this one is free – it does require a partner so I realize it won’t be an option for everyone. But for god sakes if you’re lucky enough to have someone special in your life.. hug and kiss them! Daily! Multiple times a day in fact! It’s proven to promote feelings of happiness and closeness. And I mean, it’s probably the most fun thing on the list.
Get your blood pumping. Sure – a good make-out session could do that too – but I mean working out. You don’t need a gym or fancy clothes or special training or sunny weather. I’m guessing you have 3 feet of free space and know how to run in place and do jumping jacks, sit-ups and push-ups? Great. Now repeat until you’re breathless and sweating. Pinterest and Youtube all have amazing, free routines you can try. If you’re not quite up for all of that, take a long walk instead. There’s nothing better in my opinion for clearing your mind.
Go to bed 30 minutes earlier. For a long time Adam and I thought we didn’t need to go to bed until 11PM. Which meant we were still up watching TV at 11PM. We didn’t factor in that it takes us another 30 minutes to fold the blankets on the couch, lock up, wash our faces, brush our teeth, etc. etc. And before we knew it, the clock was striking midnight before we were truly asleep. Now we start to wind down everything at 10:30PM and I swear it has made a world of difference.
They say the cure for anything is to just add water – and I really agree. If I can go for a swim, that’s the ideal, but if not I take a long hot shower or bath. Or drink a big glass of water. Or, if it’s really drastic, I’ll cue the waterworks (I’m not a cryer so this is pretty rare – but for some of you this may be a regular exercise which I think is great!). Either way, I always feel better after I’ve added water.