Category: Life

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THOUGHTS ON PERSONAL GROWTH

One of my favorite mantras is “live in an environment of growth” – I try to keep this in mind when it comes to myself, my relationships and my career. The problem is, I’m not sure I’ve been living up to those words when it comes to this blog. Now 6+ years into the game, I’ve been feeling a little lost with the whole thing (hence the silence lately).

When I began I actually wanted it as a space to work on my graphic design skills. I had graduated with a degree in Fashion Design a few years prior, and was in the midst of transitioning from a career in Accessories Design into the graphics side of fashion and didn’t have much in the way of a proper portfolio. I also was spending a stint living in LA and thought it would be a fun way to document my adventures and love for clothing/interiors. Hence ‘The Steele Maiden’ – a first voyage if you will. I’ve now got a full time career as an Art Director and am neatly settled into life back in New York City. So if we’re getting technical, the original need has long since been fulfilled.


Somewhere along the way though I started sharing outfit photos, social media became omnipresent and well, here we are. And maybe its winter talking – because you all know I’m a vitamin D junkie – but I just feel sort of tired of the whole thing. Or perhaps more accurately, I feel bored of the whole thing. The witty Instagram captions and constant push to buy new clothing by influencers. The game of who can take the most extravagant vacation and be in the cutest couple. It’s started to feel like the internet equivalent of small talk to me – and I’m just not sure I want in on that kind of conversation anymore.

Don’t get me wrong – there are all sorts of amazing influencers in the world who talk about hard hitting topics and push this industry forward. But for the most part? A lot of it feels self-centered. I was listening to one of my favorite podcasts last week, Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard, and comedian Jason Mantzoukas said something that really struck me (to paraphrase) “Story-telling used to consist of someone grabbing the camera, pointing it at their world and allowing us to see it through their eyes. Now it consists of someone turning the camera towards themselves and them simply telling us how they see the world.” I can’t stop thinking about it.

To be honest, I still don’t know where all of this leaves me and The Steele Maiden. I love sharing bits of my New York life and travels, home decor and favorite outfits with you all – and for now I plan to continue, but I think it is also going to come with some sort of more personal writing. Something of substance. It also likely means that I’ll continue to operate this space in a somewhat more pared down version while I focus a portion of my mental efforts on building a new venture which involves a different medium of fashion storytelling surrounding that I’ve been daydreaming about for the past couple of years.

In short (or long actually) – I really appreciate all of you that have come along for the journey thus far. But I think it’s time I push myself back towards that environment of growth. And I hope you’ll come along for that voyage too.

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THE STEELE MAIDEN BOOK CLUB: CHAPTER SEVEN

January was a big reading month for me, but coming off of the amazing books I read at the end of last year (see that list here) I knew I wanted to kick off 2019 by diving right in. Below, what I read this past month, plus what I’ve got on my shelf for February:

The Couple Next Door by Shari Lapena: To be fair, I think this is about what I expected out of this book. A thriller that follows two sets of neighboring couples and a central crime – I think that if the writing had been stronger I could have felt more captivated by this. That being said, if you’re generally thrilled with thrillers this one isn’t without its exciting twists and turns. All in all I’d give it a ‘B’.

Little Women by Louisa May Alcott: An American classic I had somehow never read, I’m so glad I made time for this. I think sometimes we forget to go back to the classics, favoring newer fiction that’s “popular” instead – and at nearly 600 pages including plenty of jargon from the mid-1800s this wasn’t necessarily a breeze to read. But the story itself is timeless and was certainly a pre-cursor to a million novels that followed. Louise May Alcott, a feminist and suffragette, proved that women’s stories and voices were important, even if her characters were just living everyday lives. Sidetone: I can’t wait for the new film adaptation to come out at the end of this year. Could there be a more perfect Laurie than Timothée Chalamet?!?

I Was Anastasia by Ariel Lawhon: All in all really interesting if you like historical fiction – since there was a lot of true history to be learned from this one. This book follows the story of a woman claiming to be Anastasia Romanov – the young Russian princess who was believed to have been killed, along with her entire family, during the Russian revolution on the early 1900s. It flips back and forth over the span of 40 years telling a captivating story. I was definitely most invested in the early Romanov story since I know admittedly so little about Russian history. After I was finished this book I actually went on to do some internet research to learn more about the family’s story – I love a book that teaches you something you never even knew you would be interested in.

A Wild Swan And Other Tales by Michael Cunningham: From the author of The Hours (a book I love) this is a collection of well known fairy tales, with a modern (decidedly adult) twist. They’re short and simple so I ended up reading a few each night before bed and it was a fun way to end the month after a few heavier books. Added bonus – there are really cool black and white illustrations every few pages that help bring the stories to life.

SHOP THIS MONTH’S BOOK CLUB:

Since it’s a short month I narrowed my reading list to just two stand-out books for February. My Brilliant Friend by Elena Ferrante – translated into English but originally an Italian novel – that I’ve heard great things about. It follows the story of two women growing up in Italy over the course of their lives and is apparently the first in a trilogy set to become a TV show. And Becoming by Michelle Obama – on my list for month’s now and I can’t wait to dive in.

SHOP NEXT MONTH’S BOOK CLUB:

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WHAT I LEARNED FROM DRY JANUARY: A MONTH OF NO ALCOHOL AND NO SHOPPING

At the beginning of this year (largely from the hype of seeing so many other people mention it) I decided to take a month off from all drinking and all shopping. I didn’t even think that much about it – aside from the fact that November and December always feels extra indulgent and expensive. But now looking back, I can honestly say that it affected me much more than I anticipated. Below – the truth about my “Dry January”.

No Alcohol: This was the big one. To be clear, I don’t have a drinking problem and we’re all adults here so I’m definitely not passing judgement on anyone’s habits but my own. But in an average week, I probably have a drink at least half of the days. Sometimes more. Sometimes just a mindless beer while I watch TV after a long day at work. And if it brings me happiness I’m fine with it. But sometimes it didn’t. Sometimes it was that one extra nightcap that left me feeling tired and sluggish in the morning. Or knowing that I had all those extra calories that I hadn’t even really savored in any real way.

How I Did: I didn’t make it all 31 days without a single drink. I had about 4 total throughout the month – once on our staycation uptown, another out to dinner to celebrate our friends’ recent engagement and the other two times when Adam went out to dinner. I don’t regret a single one of those drinks. I was in the moment, really enjoying myself and the single drink I had each time. But every other weekend night and every single weeknight I didn’t have a drop.

Results: I honestly feel like my entire mindset to drinking has kind of shifted. Which is pretty drastic since I’ve been drinking consistently since I was 18 and aside from giving up vodka around 25 (a story for another day) I’ve never really given it much thought. I really enjoy drinking. Brewery tours when we travel, trying out craft cocktails at cute bars around the city, popping a bottle of champagne to celebrate with Adam – all in. But now I feel like I can recognize it as something I’m choosing to do with intention rather than doing out of mindless habit. And that feels nice.

No Shopping: This felt laughably easy compared to the no drinking thing. To be fair, I probably don’t go shopping as much as it looks like I do and I definitely shop less than the average fashion blogger. But still – for the past few years there’s been this Instagram-induced syndrome that feels like I need to always have something new to keep up in some way. And I hate that bloggers likely cause other average women to feel that same deficiency. I want to buy something because I truly love it and it sparks joy and I’ll wear it, not because I need the latest and greatest to feel like I’m enough. But there is plenty in my closet already and instead I want this to be the year I’m focusing much more on my financial health than the new arrivals section of my favorite websites.

How I Did: I successfully made it! At least I’m counting that I did. In reality I bought exactly two things all month: a new nude bra (desperately needed) and a replacement set of sheets after our other spare set ripped at the laundromat. Neither was a fun impulse purchase and while I could have probably squeaked by until February – I really kind of had to pull the trigger on both of those asap.

Results: I shopped my closet much more and never once felt like “I had nothing to wear”. Funny how that works. Also, I was able to set aside a few extra dollars to go towards my bedroom makeover project that I’m working on. Something that will bring my more longer lasting joy than a random new sweater would have. Again I think it comes back to intention. Buying things with more thought and purpose and less carelessness towards my savings goals and a society-backed need for consumerism. A mindset I feel excited about carrying with me all year long.

Phew – that was a lot but I wanted to share since some of you have asked how I did! How are you all doing on your own resolutions?

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BEST OF WINTER SKINCARE: AM + PM ROUTINE

To be clear – I am by no means a skincare expert. Until I was well into my mid-twenties I used to wash my face with nothing more than water and then slap on whatever CVS brand body lotion I had lying around. That being said, in the past few years (quite frankly because some incredible brands sent help by way of samples) I’ve started to try out a more elevated skincare routine and really in the past year feel like I’ve settled into a rotation of products that work for me. I feel grateful I’ve never had any major skin problems as far as on-going acne, eczema, etc. so I can’t speak to if any of these are miracle workers in those arenas. But as far as being a woman in my early 30s dealing with fine lines, dark circles and a New Yorker winter that feels intent on wreaking havoc on my skin – all of these are really going to battle for me.

MORNING ROUTINE:

  1. I honestly don’t usually wash my face in the morning – but a spritz of this Aloe Rose Water Mist always makes me feel refreshed and awake. You can also mist it onto your face (even over make-up!) throughout the day for a nice little refresher.
  2. Hands down my favorite morning moisturizer – it strikes a perfect balance between being thick enough to really moisturize but still airy enough to not feel super heavy under make-up. Honorable mention to this moisturizer with SPF50 which I’m more prone to use if I’m not planning on wearing make-up since it’s on the thicker side.
  3. If I feel like my eyes are puffy or I’ve got dark circles (aka I didn’t get enough sleep or had more than 2 drinks the night before), I’ll dab this coffee bean cream around my eyes. It has a really smooth consistency and the natural caffeine helps de-puff and make me look more awake.
  4. A few days a week I add a couple of drops of this sunless tanner to my moisturizer. It’s not dramatic, but definitely helps give a little bit of a tinted glow that my face otherwise really lacks in winter months. Bonus points for also acting as an anti-aging serum.
  5. Once all of that soaks in, I use this tinted moisturizer (similar to a bb cream) in place of foundation. It’s a nice, semi-sheer base that smooths out discoloration and uneven skin. Plus it doesn’t dry out or cake throughout the day.

EVENING ROUTINE:

  1. A great drugstore find, I start with these micellar water make-up remover wipes. These are the only ones I’ve found that don’t leave my skin feeling strangely greasy or create a weird stinging sensation (does that happen to anyone else?). These are super gentle and it works well to get off eye make-up or super saturated lipstick.
  2. Next I use this pre-biotic filled Superfood cleanser (it has avocado, pumpkin and broccoli seed oils – like a salad for your face) to give a good clean feeling and add some nutrients to my skin.
  3. Once or twice a week I use this pore exfoliating mask to help keep my pores clear and prevent any minor breakouts. It doesn’t dry out my skin but leaves it feeling really deeply clean and smooth.
  4. After cleansing but pre-moisturizing, I alternate between this hydrating serum and this facial oil. Between the two its a good balance of hydration without adding too much oil that could potentially make me break out. Ideally I don’t even need to moisturize after all of this because my skin is fully hydrated already.
  5. But if it’s been particularly brutal weather-wise or I haven’t drank enough water that day – I lather on this overnight mask moisturizer (which firms and brightens) along with this reviving eye cream.
  6. I finish out the whole routine with this lip treatment meant to moisturize lips and help with fine lines around your mouth. Not only has it ended my chapped lips once and for all, but the metal applicator tip kind of plumps up my lips making them feel nice and full (at least as naturally full as my fairly thin lips can get) and moisturized when I wake up in the morning.

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LET’S CATCH UP 1.27.19

I really need a day between Saturday and Sunday. Most of this weekend was spent catching up on chores/errands, organizing the apartment and generally hitting re-set after last weekend’s staycation uptown and a very busy week at work. Below, a few things on my mind before we head into another week.

  1. I’ve become completely consumed with researching art to buy for the apartment. Up until now we’ve mainly had a few personal photos framed and some travel memorabilia but I really want to diversify our walls and start building a collection of art. Thinking of sharing a full post of (affordable) sources once I finally pull the trigger and start purchasing.
  2. I’m on a mission to watch a few more Oscar contenders before the big show – ‘A Star is Born’, ‘Beautiful Boy’ and ‘Bohemian Rhapsody’ are all on my list. See the full list of nominations here.
  3. I’m planning a winter skincare post this week including 5 morning products and 5 evening products I really love. This facial oil is a stand-out right now for my increasingly dry skin.
  4. Kitchen Confidential by Anthony Bourdain was one of the best books, hands down, that I read in 2018 (see my full review here). I loved this series of interviews with the people that knew him best.
  5. If I wasn’t on a self-imposed shopping ban this month, I’d be hitting up the Mango end of season sale. So many good classic coats and sweaters. Because let’s be honest, winter isn’t going anywhere anytime soon.